The Slug

Favoritest Photo of the Week: Halle Booty

(AP Photo/Michael Sohn)

Halle, what were you thinking!? Don't get The Slug wrong. You have a loverly behind, but why would you turn around and pose like that in front of a movie poster featuring your giant head? It's like soooo much Halle that, uhhh, we love it! Congratulations, you're our Favoritest Photo of the Week. We didn't even mention the fact that the name of the movie is "Perfect Stranger" and every time we see the trailer or poster we think of Balki Bartokomous and he makes us smile. The original caption:

U.S. actress Halle Berry poses in front of a film poster during a photo call to promote her new movie 'Perfect Stranger' in Berlin, Germany, Friday, March 30, 2007. (AP Photo/Michael Sohn)

Rocky Falls Off "Survivor: Fiji"

(AP Photo/HO/CBS)

Finally! Now that loudmouth James "Rocky" Reid was knocked out of "Survivor: Fiji," maybe we could possibly get into this somewhat dull season. We're most interested to see what's gonna happen with the Hidden Immunity Idol that Yau-Man Chan uncovered and that faux idol that he planted. Jeff Probst did promise us the idols would be used this season and so far they haven't. We pray to the Fijian gods that a castaway finds Yau-Man's horrible fake and attempts to use it at a Tribal Council. How embarrassing would that be!?

"Lost" Diamonds Aren't Forever

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

So let's get this straight. The folks behind "Lost" introduced the forgettable Nikki and Paulo so they could devote an entire Hitchcockian episode to the griftin' lovebirds? While The Slug thoroughly enjoyed last night's episode, we think this is a clear sign the writers are stalling because that entry didn't push the narrative of "Lost" forward whatsoever. Sure, it's nice to stop and wax nostalgic, but not when the writers know fans are increasingly frustrated — and they soooo do what with all that "Who the hell are you?" business. We doubt the pair will have a "Carrie"-like resurrection in the next episode, but we won't be surprised if they show up next season for pure shock value just like this season's Cindy cameo. Because, as we know all too well now, that's how far "Lost" is willing to go.

What's in the Trunk?

(AP Photo/Derrik J. Lang)

Wowie zowie. What a night. The Slug spent part of the evening in the back of a pickup truck driving down 34th Street in Manhattan, in front of an elephant. The 137th edition of the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is coming to town. And it's become an annual tradition for the circus elephants and horses to be paraded into the city through the Queens-Midtown Tunnel and over to Madison Square Garden. We were in the back of the truck shooting footage for an upcoming asap video series about a real-life circus family. The father is an animal trainer. It was without a doubt the most insane New York traffic jam we've ever been in.

Blake Lewis Lures Us In on "Idol"

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

Well, Blake Lewis. Well. Well. Well. Just when we thought this thang was gonna be a diva battle royale, you go and sing a Cure song — on "American Idol" of all places! Not only that, but you didn't butcher it, you left your insipid beat boxing on the cutting room floor and you were the best dressed. (Ugh. Why didn't Gwen Stefani give out fashion advice instead of singing advice!?)

Maybe this season won't end with the Lakisha Jones vs. Melinda Doolittle finale like everyone suspects. Maybe Paula Abdul is right. (No, we can't believe we just typed that sentence either.) Maybe Blake has a real chance at this. Maybe this is the year that personality trumps singing ability. Or maybe Blake just heard what we thought about blonde dudes on reality TV shows.

"Heroes" and "Top Model" Going Mobile

(AP Photo/HO/The CW)

We're vibrating with excitement! The Slug learned today that "America's Next Top Model" and "Heroes" are being turned into mobile games. In the "ANTM" game from Artificial Life, players will train an avatar representing one of the ladies from the cycle 8 to become a top model. When that girl is eliminated, her avatar will be removed from the game. Harsh! And mini-games based on the show's modeling challenges (walking? connecting with the camera? uh, walking?) will be unlocked each week.

Meanwhile, in "Heroes: The Mobile Game" from Gameloft, gamers will be able to play as superhumans Hiro, Matt, Peter or Niki. (What?! No Claire?!) Interestingly, the press release says the game’s action, penned by writers from the show, will be based on "events from the electrifying first season as well as the hotly awaited second season." Hmmm. We're hot that this could possibly mean Niki will be included in season two. Both games will be available later this year.

Steve Sanders for the Win

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

If you've ever read The Slug before, you may have noticed we tend to champion one person in reality TV competitions. (Taylor Hicks in "American Idol," Dilana Smith in "Rock Star: Supernova," Janelle Pierzina in "Big Brother," Nicole Richie in the fourth season of "The Simple Life.") Well, after watching the second episode of "Dancing with the Stars," we're getting behind Ian Ziering this time around.

We know. We know. Joey Fatone is probably the safer choice, but we think Ziering wants it more — and his partner Cheryl Burke, the two-time "Dancing with the Stars" champ that kinda reminds us of Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, seems to have been blessed with the ability to teach has-beens to shake their groove thangs. Besides, don't blondes have more fun?

To "Prison Break" and Beyond

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

Last week, we said we couldn't imagine what the greenlit third season of "Prison Break" would be about, but after last night's penultimate second season episode, The Slug has formed a hypothesis. Here we go: While it looks like Agent Kellerman is going to save Sara as the key witness in her trial (boy, the justice system in "Prison Break" is fast!), we know Paul Adelstein has been cast on that "Grey's Anatomy" spin-off.

So, considering that likely departure, Sara will probably be sent to maximum security — wait for it — prison. Michael, feeling guilty for putting her there, will spend the third season helping her escape, making the show's title once again relevant. Meanwhile, Lincoln will either reconnect with L.J. (or be killed in next week's season finale, whatev) and T-Bag will start a line of (one) handmade purses.

A Whole New "World Series of Pop Culture"

(AP Photo/Derrik J. Lang)

Today we had the honor of popping in on the quarterfinals for Entertainment Weekly and VH1's 2007 World Series of Pop Culture as spectators — not competitors. Like last year, the popular tournament features 16 three-person teams answering pop culture related questions such as "What was Monica Gellar's nickname when she when she was a goalie for her field hockey team?" until only two remain and then those teams battle it out for $250,000. ("Big Fat Goalie" was the answer.) From what we saw, this year's competition is gonna be a doozy! Lots and lots of tiebreakers. Tension!

From our balcony seat, we were rooting for the all-girl team Fragily ("Fragily. That must be Italian!") who were clad in matching hoodies. Although The Slug participated in a version of the contest last year, it didn't compare to the real thang. When contestants step up to the mic, a huge light sitting in the audience blasts them while a crane camera continually swings overhead. And there's lots of stopping and starting for production purposes that must only add anxiety. See who has the knowledge and the steel nerves when the 2007 World Series of Pop Culture airs on VH1 in July.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Easter Eggs

(AP Photo/Reed Saxon)

If you loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the late '80s and early '90s like we did and/or you're interested in the brand-new "TMNT," be sure you download our asap podcast, dude. It's all about Ninja Turtle nostalgia. Oh, and we couldn't fit this in the podcast, but "TMNT" writer-director Kevin Munore personally told The Slug about four things he hid for die-hard fans within the animated flick. Sorry, Vanilla Ice fans. No "Ninja Rap" included. See if you can spot them. "TMNT" slices into theaters today.

1.) Some of the turtles' dialogue is lovingly lifted from the comic books, especially a scene between Raph and Casey Jones.

2.) The turtle's sewer enclave includes a shelf full of relics from their previous adventures, such as a canister of ooze and time-traveling lantern. It's easy to spot at the end of the movie.

3.) Some of the computer-generated New York storefronts were modeled after those from the live-action trilogy.

4.) There's a sculptural shoutout to the nasty Triceraton Empire inside the movie villian's lair.

Favoritest Photo of The Week: Baby Drama

(AP Photo/Aaron Favila)

There's something mysteriously dazzling about a photo of someone who doesn't want to have their picture taken — especially when they use their paws to shield themselves from the lens. (The late Anna Nicole Smith does it beautifully in our banner.) That's why we selected this striking image as our Favoritest Photo of the Week. There's little context for why the uniformed man is raising his hand the way he is, his left eye poking out between his fingers, until you read the caption and it becomes very, very clear: Brangelina!

A Vietnamese army man stops a photographer from taking pictures outside the U.S. embassy annex as they wait for American actress Angelina Jolie to arrive in Hanoi, Vietnam, on Tuesday, March 20, 2007. Jolie is in Hanoi to complete some documents for her newly adopted 3-year-old Vietnamese boy, Pax Thien Jolie. (AP Photo/Aaron Favila)

The Slug Beams Into the Sci Fi Channel

(AP Photo/Derrik J. Lang)

Last night, we had the geeked-out pleasure of attending Sci Fi Channel's upfront presentation where the cable network unleashed its programming decisions for the upcoming year. The biggest news of the night was the supersizing of the upcoming fourth season of the megahit "Battlestar Galactica" from 13 to 22 episodes and ordering a "BSG" two-hour "event" that will air later this year and be released on DVD.

The channel also revealed a new "Flash Gordon" series will be taking flight in July, although no footage was shown. The Slug's heels are most excitedly clicking about "Tin Man," a mini-series re-imagining "The Wizard of Oz" with Zooey Deschanel, Richard Dreyfuss and Alan Cumming that'll premiere in December. Again, no footage was shown except a computer-generated yellow brick road leading up to a gnarled Oz.

Also, "Eureka," "The Dresden Files," "Ghost Hunters" and the silly reality show "Who Wants to Be a Superhero?" will return. First season "Superhero" winner Matthew "Feedback" Atherton was in attendance at the upfront — in costume, of course — which we assume isn't made of flammable material because his superbooty was standing awfully close to the fire pictured here. Flame on!

Locke What You've Done!

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Dear John Locke,

Hello again. We thought we made ourselves perfectly clear in our last letter that we were very disappointed that you stole C4 and blew up the Flame Station. Well, you certainly didn't make things any better by using that C4 to blow up The Others' submarine last night. Did you really do it because you're afraid of the man who took your kidney and put you in a wheelchair? Or going back in a wheelchair? Or both? Or Peg Bundy?

Your willfulness is shameful, Mr. Locke. Now that your daddy  — does that ol' guy have superstrength or what? — is apparently on the island, we fully expect you to do something bad to him, although he's probably just the black smoke dressed up as your pops. Actually, we want you to turn totally evil now. That would probably be best now. Just as you lost faith in pushing the button, we've lost faith in you.   

Kisses,
The Slug

P.S. Send our regards to your friends Nikki and Paulo! We'll see them next week. Dead, hopefully.

"Shear Genius" is Pure Genius

(AP Photo/HO/NBC)

Bravo has finally done it. They've created a totally worthy "Project Runway" progeny with the hairstyling competition "Shear Genius." OK, OK. So we've only previewed the first episode, but The Slug loves, loves, loves it. There's a perfect blend of drama, fun and aesthetic eye candy. Unlike the hum-drum "Top Design" judging panel (who've bafflingly kept Carissa again last night), the "Shear Genius" arbiters, which include host Jaclyn Smith, have the right amount of sass and constructive criticism.

The contestants are also both super and fantastic. So far we're loving to hate witchy white-haired Tabatha and are rooting for bombastic razor-happy Dr. Boogie — although we're don't believe he has a doctorate or his name is actually Boogie, but that's just another reason to cheer him. Much like "Project Runway," "Shear Genius" ends with a runway show where it's easy and entertaining to see who's a cut above the rest. We'll be booking an appointment with "Shear Genius" when it premieres April 11.

Put Your Controllers Where We Can See 'Em!

(AP Photo/HO/Midway)

Our thumbs hurt! We just got back from playing more video games that aren't out yet. Today, The Slug previewed a bunch of titles from Midway including "Unreal Tournament III," "BlackSite: Area 51," "John Woo's Stranglehold" and "Lord of the Rings Online." Because "Rings" is an online game, we're gonna reserve judgment until we play it on our own, but here's what we thought of Midway's three first-person shooter titles that are scheduled to shoot it out this summer.

"John Woo's Stranglehold." Actually, we didn't see any strangleholds in this shoot-'em-up for Xbox 360, PS3 and PC, but we did witness plenty of life-like Chow Yun-fat. As Inspector Tequila from "Hard Boiled," players can blast away at bad guys and harness a power called "Tequila Time" (our favorite time of day!) to slow down enemies and speed up firepower. Tequila travels from Hong Kong to Chicago in fully destructible environments like a museum, restaurant and casino. There will even be a multiplayer component to the game! The Slug took Tequila out for a spin and indeed felt like we were inside a John Woo movie.

"BlackSite: Area 51." As the name suggests, this sci-fi blaster for Xbox 360, PS3 and PC takes place in and around Area 51. You play the leader of an elite alien-fighting military squad. Eeek! The Slug hates micromanaging people, but "BlackSite" makes the squad-control element easy with the push of a trigger button. Environments like gas station pumps and window panes are totally destructible. At the end of the level we played — set in the real-life Nevada town of Rachel — a "Tremors"-like alien thrust out of the ground into a liquor store. Guess aliens like booze, too!

"Unreal Tournament III." The tried-and-true sci-fi shooter is back with new weapons, new vehicles and it'll be available for the PC, PS3 and Xbox 360. The biggest improvements we saw in the "Unreal" franchise — besides, of course, the yummy next-gen graphics — were the new Necris vehicles. The Slug was drooling particularly heavily at this plodding, tentacled tripod tank thingie armed with a devastating beam weapon. If you were into "Unreal" before, you'll no doubt have fun blasting away at your friends with this update.

"Prison Break" Ain't Broken

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

That's because the unrealistic but totally entertaining Fox series about the on-the-run Burrows brothers was just picked up for a third season. We consider ourselves a pretty darn imaginative blog, but The Slug can't possibly come up with any ideas on what a third season will be about.

The current "Prison Break" second season, which concludes April 2, has already seen the siblings and their escapee brethren out of prison and on the lam all across North America. One thing we're not happy about: Kellerman probably won't be around. The Secret Service bad boy played by Paul Adelstein has reportedly been cast in that "Grey's Anatomy" spinoff.

"Lair" Cake

(AP Photo/HO/Sony)

The Slug just got back from previewing the new dragon game "Lair," which flies into stores exclusively for the PlayStation 3 this summer. We're actually unicorn fans here, but the highly detailed environments and fiery aerial combat looked great in the unfinished version we witnessed.

However, The Slug was most impressed by the game's flight controls. When you want the serpent you've mounted to bank right, you tilt the Sixaxis controller right. Want him to do a reverse 180-degree turn? Flick that motion controller backwards. No analog controls here. Fun!

Now for the bad news: The dragons won't be customizable beyond some unlockable moves. So you can extinguish any dreams you had of crafting a green and yellow beast with pink hair. Pete, we're looking at you.

Joey Fatone is a "Dancing" Machine

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Heather Mills has an artificial limb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know. Who cares? Move on. But did you know has-beens Ian Ziering and Joey Fatone have moves? After last night's "Dancing the Stars" premiere, the former 'Nsync-er and his professional partner Kym Johnson came out hustlin' and showed they are the couple to beat in this competition. Well, duh. Johnson is an Aussie spitfire and booty shaking was a large chunk of Fatone's job irresponsibility as a boy band member. Poor Leeza Gibbons doesn't have a chance. Wait a second. Who's Leeza Gibbons!?

Ryan Seacrest Makes a Funny

(AP Photo/HO/E!)

After catching a preview screening of "Knocked Up," the latest comedy from "40-Year-Old Virgin" writer-director Judd Apatow, we're not sure we'll be able to look at Ryan Seacrest the same way when we watch "American Idol" tonight. At the beginning of the film, Seacrest has a hilarious cameo (actually, the whole movie is hilarious) as himself. He goes on this megalomaniac diva tirade using several expleitives he'd be fined thousands of dollars for saying on "Idol." The Slug loves it when celebrities can make fun of themselves — especially in R-rated movies!

"Jeopardy!" Experiences First Threeway

(AP Photo/Chris Polk)

After Ken Jennings crazy winning streak in 2004, The Slug didn't think anything that exciting could ever happen on "Jeopardy!" again. Well, we're wrongola because each of the three contestants tied with $16,000 in winnings on Friday's edition of the quiz show. So what happens now? Well, they'll all be back for a rematch that airs today where only one will win. Check your local listings if you want to see which smartypants breaks the tie.

"The Apprentice" is Jamaican Me Crazy

(AP Photo/HO/NBC)

We haven't been keeping up with "The Apprentice: Los Angeles" this season, but we did catch last night's episode, which ended with a very catty boardroom. The remaining female members of the Kinetic team turned on the religious Jamaican-born lawyer Muna Heaven, who was basically fired because she starred in a Soft Scrub Deep Clean Foaming Cleanser commercial — excuse us, webisode — where nobody could understand what she was saying. Ouch! We thought the spoiled castaways on this season of "Survivor" were mean, but that's just rude, mon.

Favoriest Photo of the Week: Oh, Bullock

(AP Photo/Matt Sayles)

For the first time since we began selecting our Favoritest AP Photo of the Week, it was difficult to find an image with some sort of pop cultural connection that tickled our fancy. Then we came across this photo by AP photographer Matt Sayles of Sandra Bullock at the premiere of "Premonition." If only we'd had Sandy's super premonition power from the movie then we wouldn't have wasted so much time searching for it!

The Slug loves pictures that include other people taking pictures. (See our banner.) It's like totally meta, you know? Plus we like the composition in this one with Sandy in the foreground and cutie pie Shyanne McClure, who plays her daughter in the film, sorta hovering eerily in the background. Red carpet photos are generally repetitive, but this one is unique. The original caption:

Sandra Bullock, right, talks to photographers as she arrives at the premiere of "Premonition" in the Hollywood section of Los Angeles, Monday, March 12, 2007. (AP Photo/Matt Sayles)

Bling and Thongs

(AP Photo/Warner Bros/Sakchai Lalit)

It's a match made in scantily clad heaven! On the left is Xerxes, the giant Persian man-god played by Rodrigo Santoro who's currently taunting King Leonidas on the big screen in "300." On the right is a model donning a design by Tippy/Matthew yesterday during Bangkok International Fashion Week. Is art imitating real life or vice versa? Who cares! We soooo want either one of these to be our Halloween costume this year. Only 3,429 crunches to go! Now does anyone know where we can pickup some bedazzled BVDs? We're not on a man-god budget.

An Open Letter to John Locke

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Dear John Locke,

Who do you think you are? How dare you, sir. How dare you take Mikhail Bakunin's life. How dare you steal that C4 explosive from the Flame Station and then intentionally blow it up. (Please do not insult our intelligence by telling us you didn't know that chess game would lead to the destruction of the Flame Station. If you discovered C4 strapped to the walls, we firmly believe you were fully aware of the ramifications.)

You sure do have a habit of being around places that, you know, blow up. Oh, and lying. You've been doing that much more frequently, too. Frankly, we're not sure what to believe anymore when it comes to you. We thought you were a man of faith, but lately you've been more of man of dishonesty. Next week we'll learn why you were in a wheelchair. You were probably being deceitful about that as well.

Kisses,
The Slug

Secret of the Ooze

(AP Photo/HO/Warner Bros.)

Yesterday, The Slug caught a preview screening of "TMNT," the awkwardly titled computer-generated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie that flips into theaters March 23. It was depressing! Not the movie itself, just the sad realization that it's been 17 years since the pizza-eating turtles first popped out of the sewer and onto the big screen in live action. We're getting old! Cowabungboo.

"TMNT" is totally watchable and fun. The animation kinda reminds The Slug of "The Incredibles." The turtles' world has definitely changed since we last saw them in all of their early '90s awesomeness. April O'Neil is no longer a yellow jumpsuit wearing reporter. There's no Shredder. No Krang. And no Vanilla Ice rapping "Go ninja, go ninja, go!" If you have any questions for the "TMNT" filmmakers, e-mail them to us at theslug@ap.org. We're supposed to be interviewing them or something this week for an asap story.

Have We Been Here Before?

(AP Photo/HO/Sci Fi)

This probably means we watch waaay too much reality television, but The Slug has spotted some frighteningly recycled reality TV living quarters. When CW's "Search for the Next Doll" contestants moved into their "doll house" during last night's episode, we instantly recognized it as the same Los Angeles space — exposed brick bedroom walls, architectural hole in the kitchen — that wannabes on both Sci Fi's "Who Wants to Be a Superhero?" and the fourth season of "America's Next Top Model" called home. Guess when it comes to reality TV, the location, location, location can be the same, same, same.

Boys Will Be Bad on "American Idol"

(AP Photo/HO/Idol)

We did it. We watched every minute of "American Idol" last night. OK, OK. So we skipped over some of Seacrest's TelePrompTer renditions, but we did catch every singing performance. And we have to say, even though The Slug has always been against the way "Idol" inaugurally segregates contestants by sex, this season's men are HORRIBLE vocalists. Horrible! The dudes (and two of the ladies) should just pack up their hair gel and sound editing programs because this sucker looks like it's going to be a four-way battle for divadom between Melinda Doolittle, Stephanie Edwards, Jordin Sparks and Lakisha Jones.

"Heroes," Don't Leave Us Like This

(AP Photo/HO/NBC)

Are you going through "Heroes" withdrawal already? It's only the first week of the six week hiatus! Seems like NBC is trying to keep fans motivated with Hana "Wireless" Gitelman's blog and Chandra Suresh's evolution site. Sure, it's interesting, but The Slug has found a flaw. Hasn't "Heroes" only worked its way up to October 2006?

When Hiro teleported to the future and witnessed New York going nuclear, it was Nov. 8, 2006, so we know "Heroes" takes place before then. But Hanna's blog entries have March 2007 timestamps. Either Hiro is posting Hanna's blog from the future or someone behind the scenes ain't paying attention. Boo. In the meantime, rewatch episodes with commentary.

Around the Six Flags in 30 Days

(AP Photo/HO/Six Flags)

This morning, while we were drinking our coffee and watching morning television, The Slug saw a commercial for Six Flags. Get a season pass good for all Six Flags theme parks for $89.99, the announcer screamed as we poured ourselves another cup. That's a pretty good deal, we told ourselves as we dropped a lump of sugar into our coffee. You know we love us some roller coasters. But just how long and how much would it cost to visit every Six Flags theme park in the world next month, we asked ourselves. So The Slug took to trusty travel site Kayak to find out.

According to our math, which is probably as fuzzy as a koala bear, it would take about 30 days and a combination of flying and driving to hit every park — there are 17 not counting animal or water parks where the pass can be used — beginning at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, N.J., and ending at Six Flags Magic Mountain in Los Angeles. Did you know Six Flags owns theme parks in Montreal and Mexico City? Or that the one in New Orleans has been closed since Hurricane Katrina?

Airfare alone for this wild excursion would cost about $1,683. Car rentals would be about $1,049. Stays at two- to three-star hotels (no one-star motels for The Slug, thankyouverymuch) would total around $2,043. And that season pass is $89.99. That's already a total of $4,864.99 — not including food, gas, souvenirs or barf bags. Maybe we'll just stay in and watch "Golden Girls" reruns instead.

"Idol" Votes More People Off

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

While we haven't been keeping up with "American Idol" like we should, The Slug was just as shocked as everyone else that Jason "Sundance" Head didn't make the Final 12. Recount! The hippie offspring, who could actually sing, was heavily featured throughout the audition process and seemed to be a fan favorite. Just goes to show no matter how the producers or judges try to stack the deck, it's the voters who make the final — and yes, sometimes dumb — decision. At least Antonella Barba ... oh, we're not even going to go there.

Favoritest Photo of the Week: Hair and Makeup

(AP Photo/Aaron Favila)

This was a sad week for The Slug. We reported there's currently no deal on the table to bring vintage "Price is Right" episodes back to GSN. The President of the United States of "Prison Break" was revealed to be in an incestuous relationship. And both Captain America and Ms. Klugh died. But at least our Favoritest AP Photo of the Week — from the National Open Championship for Hairstyling and Makeup in the Philippines — brought a smile to our face. Peacock feathers! The original caption:

A Filipino model waits for her turn during the 17th National Open Championship for Hairstyling and Makeup competition in Manila on Monday, March 5, 2007. About 8,000 hairdressers from all over the country participated in the annual event in hopes of winning cash prizes and an educational grant to Shanghai, China. (AP Photo/Aaron Favila)

"Lost" Gets a Ms. Klugh

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

"Lost" was worth watching again last night. But Locke is so dumb. Why would you play computer chess during a hostage situation? We're now suspecting he's an Other (and maybe Rousseau, too). Otherwise, nothing can explain his decision to enter 77 on the computer and make the Flame go kaboom. Even if he didn't know the place was loaded with C4, what did he think was going to happen?  A magical rainbow bridge was going to come down from the sky and take him to Peg Bundy's apartment?

Also, we're sad Ms. Klugh was shot and killed — she was The Slug's favorite Other — but we're even sadder all those farm animals probably died. What's this show's deal with animals, both imaginary and real? We hope that horse and those cows ran away from the Flame station after Mikhail fired his gun. If not, PETA desperately needs to crash-land on that island and save them and all the polar bears, tattooed sharks, boars and cats named Nadia.

Too Much to Handle

(AP Photo/HO/Marvel)

Is there a rip in the space-time continuum? What else could explain all the crazy hot messes that are happening in entertainment news today!? First, The Slug learned that Captain America has been shot and killed. Captain America! Dead! Then, after we wiped away the tears, we saw that Star Jones Reynolds has landed her own talk show. Oh, no she didn't! And then we learned Jason Wahler from "Laguna Beach" has been sentenced to two months in jail. "Slug, just breathe. You'll be OK," we told ourselves. But we won't because we just read this headline: "Producer Timbaland wants to save Britney." Sigh. The Slug needs a personal day!

Look What "Lost" Has Done To Us

(AP Photo/Clara Prima)

The Slug rarely reports about stuff that's not related to popular culture, and we're not really gonna start now, but we are using this AP photo and story about that Indonesian jetliner crash to illustrate how a television show can alter your perception. Take a look at the lead — that's journalism speak for the first paragraph — of this story to see what simple word made us imagine something that so obviously isn't there. Maybe we need to quit watching "Lost."

YOGYAKARTA, Indonesia (AP) — A packed jetliner crash-landed and erupted in flames Wednesday, killing at least 21 people trapped inside the burning wreckage. More than 115 others escaped through emergency exits as black smoke billowed behind them, authorities and witnesses said.

Would You Like a Vintage Plinko, Perhaps?

(AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)

If you've ever wondered why GSN doesn't give the '70s and '80s treatment to CBS' "The Price is Right" anymore, we have an answer for you. While speaking to Rich Cronin, GSN president and CEO who's in New York for The National Vocabulary Championship, The Slug asked him if we were ever gonna see brown-haired Bob Barker and pricing games of yesteryear back on the network for games.

Cronin said CBS let "The Price is Right" rights expire because they thought reruns would affect viewership of the original. GSN talks to CBS "every six months" about airing the oldies but thus far GSN hasn't been able to become Safe Crackers. With Bob Barker retiring in June, The Slug hopes that "The Price is Right" as we knew it can soon live forever on GSN. Until then, this will continue to be one of those Cliff Hangers.

Hail to the Incester in Chief

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

Ohmygosh. Forget "Heroes." The show that made The Slug's jaw drop into our basement, through the core of the planet and up into China last night was Fox's "Prison Break." Stop now if you don't want to be spoiled — although our headline probably gave the big shocker away so just keep reading. It was revealed that the double-crossing president, played steely by Patricia Wettig, had an incestuous relationship with her brother! Incest. Now that's something you don't often see in primetime.

The Burrows boys hoped to use that information to blackmail full pardons out of her, but she instead stepped down as prez and announced she had cancer. Boo. And she was such a good villain (despite the whole brother lover thing). Since Wettig is a full-fledged cast member on ABC's "Brothers & Sisters," we probably won't be seeing her for awhile — again! — and that the Burrows clan will have to formulate yet another escape plan. "Prison Break," you torture us.

Mickey Mouse to Children: My Neck is Killing Me!

(AP Photo/HO/Disney)

We've all had our photo taken with at least one bobble-headed costumed character, those bizarre beings most abundant at the Disney theme parks. They're cute. They're cuddly. They're kinda mysterious. And they make for a good picture. But this story from the Orlando Sentinel takes the head off just how dangerous donning a Pooh outfit can be.

For example, did you know that the costumes can cost upwards of $100,000? Or that the men and women under the fur blamed the costumes for 282 injuries in 2005, according to reports kept by Disney World or the Occupational Safety and Health Administration? Ouch. Think about that the next you let your little cousins crawl on top of poor ol' Goofy.

Another Reason to Miss "Being Bobby Brown"

(AP Photo/Nancy Lane)

Don't get The Slug wrong. We love us some "Project Runway" and "Six Feet Under" reruns. But oh how we wish Bravo's "Being Bobby Brown" was still in production. Here's the latest: Hot 99.5's "The Kane Show" in Washington paid the $19,150 to spring Brown from jail after he failed to pay child support on the condition that he appear on the show, but Brown backed out! Come on, Bobby B. The least you could do is call in let them record you saying, "Hi. This is Bobby Brown and you're listening to Hot 99.5." You know, so they can repeatedly play it between songs.

Emotionally Preparing for Tonight's "Heroes"

(AP Photo/HO/NBC)

Last week we filed a fun asap story on February sweeps featuring an Oscar-style "In Memoriam" video starring all the characters that were killed off last month. Take a look. The Slug even included Meredith Grey from "Grey's Anatomy" and Eric Delko from "CSI: Miami" although they were pronounced dead then brought back to life. Hey, dying is dying!

Judging from her appearance in the previews, looks like the same may happen for Simone on tonight's "Heroes" after she was shot by psychic painter Isaac a few weeks ago. Her resurrection is probably just a dream sequence. Tease! We're more nervous about the return of Niki/Jessica, that horrible superpowered character with multiple personalities — each of them totally annoying.

If you heart this show as much as The Slug does, don't forget to check out the weekly "Heroes" segments at AP Video. They often include preview footage (if you're into that sort of thing) and morning-after commentary from yours truly (we know you're into that sort of thing). Just go to AP Video, click on ShowBiz and then click on Heroes. Well, unless you're Hanna "Wireless" Gitelman. Then you can just use your brain to telepathically find the video.

Favoritest Photo of the Week: Bye, Anna

(AP Photo/J. Pat Carter)

The Slug is still in Florida but nowhere near where Anna Nicole Smith passed away. Speaking of Smith, our Favoritiest Photo of the Week is this photo of Smith's white hearse with a crane camera looming overhead. It's so artful. We could say soooo much about it, but we'll let J. Pat Carter's image do all the talking. The original caption:

A celebrity television show's camera films the arrival of Anna Nicole Smith's body at a Nassau Baptist Church for her funeral, in the Bahamas, Friday, March 2, 2007. (AP Photo/J. Pat Carter)

Oh, and in case you were wondering since she's being laid to rest today, The Slug will continue to use the same banner up there we've been using since Day One, which features AP photographer Manuel Balce Ceneta's image of Smith shielding herself from the media while on the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. Think of it as a tribute to everything she personified.