How We Feel About Four New Reality Shows

(AP Photo/HO/Bravo)

Welcome to the summer slump. Filler TV has lost its thrill, and new fall TV shows are just out of reach. What are viewers supposed to do!? Luckily, four brand-new cable reality shows about murder, a five-star hotel, some has-beens named Corey and one over-the-top house flipper are premiering soon. Three are good. One is really bad. The Slug previewed each — and here's what we thinks:

"Welcome to The Parker." We can't stop wondering how The Parker resort, the fancy focus of this particular reality series, earned each of its five stars. The management is crazy. The staff is out of control. And don't even get us started on the guests. In the first episode, The Parker crew allows an immature group of manboys to drunkenly destroy some choice vintage furnishings. Uh oh? Oh yeah! Please do not disturb The Slug. We're watching the train wreck that is "Welcome to The Parker." Premieres July 26 on Bravo.

"The Two Coreys." If you're not yet over watching has-beens and never-beens with their own reality series, then tune into "The Two Coreys" and you will be. We promise. In this stagey series, former teen idol Corey Haim moves in with fellow former teen idol Corey Feldman (and his hanger-on wife, Susie) as the Coreys attempt to reclaim their fame. Yes, it's just as sad as it sounds. Most of the first episode is spent on Haim's lingering interest in starring in "Lost Boys 2." Painful. Premieres July 29 on A&E.

"Flipping Out." Move over, Paula Abdul. Crazy has a new name, and it's Jeff Lewis. This house flipper and his wacky staff of assistants-actors (and trusty maid Zoila) are nutty, dramatic, dysfunctional and funny. He's created an insane, entertaining universe that's one part HGTV, one part "All My Children." (Jeff Lewis is Erica Kane, of course.) And unlike most docu-reality shows these days, "Flipping Out" feels genuine — and that's what makes it so watchable. Premieres July 31 on Bravo.    

"Murder." Spike TV is calling this reality show "Murder," but The Slug is gonna refer to it as "CSI: The Game Show" since the contestants are tasked with solving old homicide cases by examining recreated crime scenes and existing evidence. Despite the morbid premise, ""CSI: The Game Show" is surprisingly fun to play along with at home. Unfortch, it's not kitschy like "Clue." Hopefully, in a future episode, a participant will yell out: "It was Miss Scarlett with the pipe in the conservatory!" Probably won't happen though. Sigh. Premieres July 31 on Spike.