The Slug

J.Lo Explodes On "Dancing with the Stars"

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Explosions. Glitter. Backup dancers. Big hair. Strobe lights. And lots of dangling fabric. There was so much stuff happening during Jennifer Lopez's performance on "Dancing with the Stars: The Results" last night, it's as if the "international superstar" was trying to hide something! Oh, and it's too bad about Mark Cuban getting voted off. We kinda liked the big lunk, but the judges were right. He really wasn't improving, despite his best efforts. Unlike previous seasons, we really have no clue who the Final Two will be this time.

The Slug Buys It Now

(AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)

Last night, The Slug attended eBay's Game Show Night, a press event featuring Andy Ritcher and Paul F. Tompkins as hosts of a made-up eBay-themed game show — complete with podiums, flashing lights and prizes. It was cute and fun. Unfortch, we weren't selected to come on down. However, we were clued into the auction site's cool new features, which include a handy-dandy countdown page (no more hitting refresh only to learn you've been outbid by someone in Montana) and the ability to embed video in listings. Time to go shopping for old Yaz records!

Fainting "with the Stars"

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

As Marie Osmond was twirling around the "Dancing with the Stars" ballroom during last night's spicy Latin Night, The Slug thought to ourselves, "You know what? We didn't think we'd like her. We even had the audacity to call her an old geezer at one point. But she's become one of the most entertaining celebrities to watch this season."

Then, as she was being critiqued by the judges, Osmond fainted. She's fine. The question is: Will the producers choose to show Osmond falling to the floor repeatedly and in slow motion on tonight's results show, like they did with Jennie Garth's quickstep tumble a few weeks ago? Probably. "Dancing with the Stars" has a way of hiking up the drama higher than Edyta Sliwinska's skirt.

Halloween Costumes Ideas

(AP Photos)

The Slug's favoritest holiday is just around the corner. That means it's time to dress up like a celebrity train wreck and hope everyone else in the room gets it. The Slug suspects lots of folks will be Anna Nicole Smith and Paris Hilton, so we're opting for other topical pop-culture icons. This year, we're keeping it simple (and cheap!), so all our ideas consist of just three elements. Let us know which of these five characters you think would garner us more tricks than treats.

• Bee Hive Wig + Black Tooth Makeup + Illegal Substances = Amy Winehouse
• Computer Chip Contacts + Cleavage + Sagging Ratings = "Bionic Woman"
• Bad Weave + Glittery Bra and Panties + No Facial Expression = Britney Spears
• Wallet Chain + Suicidal Tendencies Shirt + Farting = "Evel" Dick Donato
• Ponyhawk Wig + Microphone + No Talent = Sanjaya Malakar

Oh, Baby, Baby

(AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

Chris Crocker is going to go ballistic when he hears this! A judge has ordered that Britney Spears turn over custody of her two boo-boos to ex-husband Kevin Federline this week. Wowie zowie. And we thought that MTV Video Music Award performance was rough. In previous Brit Brit news, she was ordered to undergo random drug and alcohol testing twice a week as part of her ongoing custody dispute with K-Fed. No word on if the two are related, at this point.

We Don't Think They're Ready for This Jelly

(AP Photo/Stephen Chernin)

Was Beyonce not willing to cover up for her first concert in Malaysia? According to Knowles' agency, she canceled the show "due to a scheduling conflict." However, she will instead perform in neighboring Indonesia, whose government doesn't demand that female performers cover their bods from their shoulders down to their knees. Hmmm. This sounds more like a "wardrobe conflict" to us.

"Dancing" with the Ladies

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

How annoying. ABC has divided the season premiere of "Dancing with the Stars" into two parts, well, three if you count Wednesday's results show, or four if you count our planned purging session on Thursday. Tomorrow night, the guys will do their thang. Last night, the female celebrities twirled in the spotlight.

Marie Osmond and Dr. Quinn's routines reminded us of our mom getting her groove on at a wedding reception. Kelly from "90210" and Scary Spice were scarily average. The worst, however, was probably Josie Maran, who'll probably be voted off because, well, who is Josie Maran? Luckily, the popping and locking of "Cheetah Girl" Sabrina Bryan made "Dancing with the Stars" feel like an episode of "So You Think You Can Dance," which is to say she made the show worth watching.

Step One: Put Your Emmy in the Box

(AP Photo/HO/NBC)

Here's what The Slug wants to know: Will Saturday Night Live's you-know-what "in a Box" be performed at the Emmys? In this story about Kathy Griffin being naughty during her Emmy acceptance speech, AP television writer Lynn Elber says that Andy Samberg hasn't been asked yet. Meanwhile, the academy says that "show elements are in the process of being worked out." Seriously? While the academy might not be ready for Sept. 16 just yet, we here at The Slug are 'cause — just like last year — we'll be liveblogging the ceremony live from the shag carpet in our living room. In the meantime, tide yourself over with this asap podcast about this year's Best Original Music contenders.

MTV VMAs: Gimme a Barf Bag

(AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian)

Yes, we saw Britney Spears' MTV Video Music Award performance. Yes, we thought it was horrrrendously bad. But really? What did you expect? Madonna? A duet with Justin Timberlake? Actual singing? Abs? The Slug is afraid that the art of the super-staged award-show comeback is dead. Thanks, Brit Brit. You can throw all the fantasy suites, unnecessary glowing tables, collaborations, Rhapsody ads and Miss Teen South Carolina cameos you want at us, but we still don't think the VMAs are must-see TV anymore. Sorry.

Bringing M.C. Hammer Down

(AP Photo/Olga Shalygin)

When The Slug was just a lil' worm, like everyone else in the early '90s, we loved us some M.C. Hammer. We were "2 Legit 2 Quit." We had to "Pray" just to make it to today. And we loved nothing more than to "Turn This Mutha Out." Despite all that, we often wonder what time is Hammer Time? Apparently, it's 8:15 p.m.

"High School Musical" Nude Photo Shocker

(AP Photo/The Disney Channel/Adam Larkey)

We don't know what to say. Vanessa Hudgin's rep has confirmed that a nude photo circulating on the World Wide Web is indeed the 18-year-old "High School Musical" star. Uh oh, Gabriella. This is sort of behavior we'd expect from the likes of Britney Spears or Sharpay. At least it's not a sex tape, right? Wow. We never thought we'd say that when referring to a Disney Channel star. The Slug is really curious if this scandal will affect the chances of "High School Musical 3" happening. In the meantime, maybe Vanessa can star in a revival of "Hair" or something?

 

Posh is Always a Bridesmaid on "Ugly Betty"

(AP Photo/Rene Macura)

The rumors are true! Victoria Beckham is guest starring as herself in an episode of "Ugly Betty" this fall. Posh will be bridesmaid to — spoiler alert! — bridezilla Wilhelmina Slater, who's getting hitched to boss-man Bradford Meade next season. Hmmm. Wonder if Becks will hobble down the aisle alongside his wife? That would make this a wedding we'd definitely want to RSVP yes to!

So We Think Sabra Should Win

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

Look, we love this show more than "American Idol" and think they should just stop the current "Idol" auditions and do two seasons of "So You Think You Can Dance" a year, but let's be honest. That finale was not that great. Tyce Dioro's "Cabaret" number made us long for Liza. Shane Sparks' hip-hop routine lacked pop (and locking). And Wade Robson's fox trot made us want to choke ourselves with a scarf.

Luckerly for us, Mia Michael's prince-off was way fun and not too gay. After our ambivalence yesterday, we finally settled on supporting Sabra as our favoritest dancer and dialed the 800 number accordingly. Then two hours went by and we realized we were supposed to call an 888 number! Urrrgh. Cat Deeley, you didn't warn us enough! Now Danny and his goodies might win!

Time for the Last "So You Think You Can Dance"

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

As suspected, completely capable Pasha Kovalev and Lauren Gottlieb were sent packin' on "So You Think You Can Dance" last night. And how bizarrely unnecessary was that whole empty-the-audience segment? Now we have our final four: Neil Haskell, Sabra Johnson, Lacey Schwimmer and Danny Tidwell. They'll dance-off in tomorrow's episode, and the winner will be revealed Thursday.

We're completely conflicted who on to support. The Slug has never been on Team Danny despite his impeccable top line — whatever that means! We don't know what it is about the ballet dancer. We just don't like him. Lacey's body rocks, but her facial expressions suck. Neil has the bestest personality, but Sabra is a much better dancer. Ugh. So who do you think should win? We're leaning towards Sabra. Tell us as theslug@ap.org.

Does This Make Paula Abdul the Godmother?

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

Here's a new way to capture the attention of "American Idol" producers during seventh season auditions: go into labor. Antoria Gillon, who tried out in Dallas on Monday while nine-months pregnant, had contractions during the auditions and gave birth after being selected to for the next round, according to a statement released by Fox. Gillon gave birth to Jamil Labarron Idol McCowan early Tuesday morning. He weighs 6 lbs. 7oz. and is a little pitchy.

Please Make the VMAs Stop

(AP Photo/Jeff Christensen)

The MTV Video Music Awards nominations were announced yesterday. Yeah, we don't care, either. But here's something kinda interesting: For the first time, the ceremony will be held at the Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. And only eight categories will be awarded during the Sept. 9 broadcast. Ugh. Why bother? Does anyone even watch MTV anymore — let alone music videos on MTV?

Bad Night for B-People on "SYTYCD"

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

Boo. Breakers Dominic Sandoval and Sara Von Gillern, our favoritiest female dancer, busted a move right off of Fox's "So You Think You Can Dance" last night. Thanks, America. Now who's gonna spin on their heads for our personal amusement? This competition looks like it just might come down to an all-girl dance-off between Sabra Johnson and Lacey Schwimmer — unless the male dancers curry favor from woman and gay men by dancing shirtless for the remainder of the season.

Wednesday Night Fever

(AP Photo/HO/Fox/Kelsey McNeal)

Our ultimate "So You Think You Can Dance" dream came true last night: smiley b-girl Sara Von Gillern and jumpy boy-next-door Neil Haskell, our two favoritest contestants, performed a cheesy high-energy disco routine brought to you by Velveeta. Delicious! Too bad the rest of the episode was filled with downers like the most non-Viennese waltz ever and those completely repetitive Wade Robson anti-war solos. If we never hear John Mayer's "Waiting On The World To Change" again, we'll be happier than Neil in a leisure suit.

We're Speaking the Language of "SYTYCD"

(AP Photo/HO/Fox/Kelsey McNeal)

When we heard Wade Robson was gonna be this week's guest judge on Fox's "So You Think You Can Dance," we sorta felt like skipping the reality dance revolution. If he's next to screechy Mary Murphy then he can't choreograph one of his ahhhmazing dance routines, meaning the show will kinda be a dud.

We were wrong! That Jazzercise number set to Queen's "Body Language" choreographed for newbie couple Sara Von Gillern and Pasha Kovalev by Mandy Moore — not that Mandy Moore —  made The Slug want to run out and purchase white suspenders and teal pants. Lacewho? Kamerwha? This ballroom boy and b-girl are becoming the couple to beat and dress like!

 

Ask Your Doctor if Yaz is Right for You

(AP Photo)

Have you seen those annoying new birth control pill commercials starring a gaggle of gals chatting about premenstrual dysphoric disorder? "My doctor told me about this new low-dose birth control pill. It's called Yaz," the blonde one chirps. Say whaa?! The Slug thought Yaz was an awesome synth-pop group from the '80s composed of crooner Alison Moyet, pictured above, and Depeche Moder Vince Clarke, not a pill that magically shortens visits from Aunt Flo. Do symptoms include sideways ponytail swelling and drowsy banana clips? Whatev. Our HMO probably only covers New Order pain reliever, anyway. Somebody call Michael Moore!

 

Reunited and It Feels So Spice

So now that we know the Spice Girls are getting the band back together, let's speculate on the set list for their 11-city world tour. Obviously, "Wannabe" and "2 Become 1" are must includes. They'll probably throw "Say You'll Be There" and "Spice Up Your Life" in, too. We'd personally like to hear them belt out "Mama" and, um, what else? Maybe they'll let Ginger Spice do "Look at Me" from her first solo album, and, well we can't think of anymore Spice Girls songs! Uh oh. 

Maybe They Want to be Called Spice Women Now

(AP Photo/Fiona Hanson)

We're not sure we wannabe ready for this news. After weeks of will-they-or-won't-they — and some please-please-don't-they — speculation, the Spice Girls are set to make an ohhhfficial announcement regarding their future plans on June 28. That's less than a week away! Are they launching a reunion tour or just a "Spice World" special edition DVD? It's tough for The Slug to imagine Spice Girls like Victoria Beckham and Melanie "Eddie Murphy is the Father of My Baby" Brown up on stage singing (or lip-syncing, whatever) their old hits again. But don't you dare think we wouldn't RSVP for that hot mess.

Favoritest Photo of (Last) Week: Shakira, Shakira

(AP Photo/Eduardo Verdugo)

Let's start the week off with some Shakira, shall we? Her hips don't lie and her hair don't stay in one place. Our Favoritest Photo of (Last) Week comes from Mexico City where photographer Eduaro Verdugo captured Shakira mid-shake during her concert. If he's not too busy judging reality shows, Vidal Sassoon needs to give this lady a contract. Girl has volume. Don't shake the original caption:

Colombian singer Shakira performs during her concert in Mexico City, Sunday, May 27, 2007. Mexico is the final stop of Shakira's "Oral Fixation" world tour. (AP Photo/Eduardo Verdugo)

Excuse Us While We Sip This Drink

(AP Photo/Hillary Rhodes)

Everybody knows rock icon Jimi Hendrix lived hard. Maybe that's why the samples we received of The Jimi Hendrix Liquid Experience energy drink arrived at The Slug's desk dripping and beaten up. No matter. We popped open the gorgeous surviving cans for a taste test. (The back reads: "This new energy drink is a tribute to Jimi's legacy, The Jimi Hendrix Experience and their everlasting influence on music and those who play it.")  Unlike other flavorless energy drinks, the deep purple Voodoo Vibe flavor actually tasted like something. Unfortch, that something was grape-flavored cough syrup. However, we are happy to report we typed this blog post in 10 seconds. Thanks, Jimi.

Finale Overload

  (AP Photo/HO/Fox)

Our head is spinning after the past two nights of conclusions, cliffhangers and crownings on TV finales. Some were worth the wait while others were knuckle-bitingly frustrating. Before we start consuming an unhealthy diet of bad summer reality shows — here we come, "Age of Love" — The Slug is gonna take one last look at the finales and then move on.

"American Idol." How did they possibly pack sooo many performances, cameos and Jeff Foxworthy appearances into two hours? By the time we got to the Beatles tribute (which would've been so much better if the past "Idol" winners would've, you know, actually sang together), The Slug forgot why were were watching until Ryan Seacrest revealed that Blake Lewis was robbed. Robbed, we say!

"Dancing with the Stars." This bloated conclusion filled with endless montages and completely unnecessary dance numbers was fitting considering this fourth season was entertaining yet uneven. "Dancing" took far too long to cha cha to the festooning of deserving champion Apolo Anton Ohno. Maybe we're just holding a grudge since Steve Sanders didn't win. It was a bad night for blonde guys.

"Lost." From the first scene, this episode felt bigger and more epic than ever before. Every castaway played a delicious part in stopping — or, in one case, helping — The Others. And, for the first time, "Lost" delivered a finale twist ending that wasn't too gimmicky or trite but totally satisfying and unexpected. Can we flashforward to next February? Please!?

"Veronica Mars." We have to admit it. After coming back from hiatus and dropping the ongoing mystery element, we felt "Veronica Mars" lost her luster. But these final two hours were a wonderful reminder how funny, emotional, gripping and smart this show has been for the past three seasons. How dare the above shows get to continue and "Mars" get left in the rain. How dare they. 

"Guitar Hero" Striking Another Sequel

(AP Photo/HO/Activision)

Video game publisher Activision and developer Red Octane announced that a third installment of "Guitar Hero" will be available for PS2, PS3, Xbox 360 and Wii this fall, featuring new tracks and multiplayer options. Already? And we were just starting to get warmed up on "Guitar Hero II" for the Xbox 360, too. (Not really. See our horrible performance in this asap video.) Our only complaint about this franchise has always been the lack of fan-favorite classics, but the press release is teasing that new tunes like Rolling Stones' "Paint It Black," Heart's "Barracuda" and Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" will be included. Consider us amped.

Now Playing at the Peach Pit After Dark

(AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)

Every now and then, Entertainment Weekly delivers a delicious lesson. (Full disclosure: We once interned at EW a long time ago during a summer far, far away.) In this week's music section, as a sidenote to EW's review of Maroon 5's "It Won't Be Soon Before Long," the magazine teaches us that the band's previous incarnation, Kara's Flowers, played the Peach Pit After Dark in a "Beverly Hills 90210" episode from 1997. Luckily, the clip is available on YouTube, along with Tori Spelling delivering this line: "Wow, the band sounds great. It's too bad there's not a bigger crowd." Ha! Look who's attracting bigger audiences now, Donna Martin!

Proud to Be An "American Idol" Viewer

(AP Photo/HO/Fox/Frank Micelotta)

America, you done The Slug proud. Did you see that look on Melinda Doolittle's face? She. Was. Floored. Blake Lewis vs. Jordin Sparks is an "American Idol" finale matchup that has the potential to be as exciting, suspenseful and wacky as the Clay Aiken vs. Ruben Studdard bout of '03. Sure, it looks like Sparks may have this baby in the bag, but everybody we talked to thought the beatboxer would be beat last night. Now we're completely conflicted. We heart them both so much! We don't know whether to support the young one or the short one. Pretty please tell us who we should vote for — and why, duh — at theslug@ap.org. 

More Coasters Cometh

(AP Photo/Willis Glassgow)

So The Slug hasn't even booked tickets to ride the five roller coasters we previewed in this asap interactive, but we're already anticipating several more gut crunchers in the coming years. Two brand-new amusement parks are going up in two very different places: the Hard Rock Park, opening in 2008 in Myrtle Beach, S.C., and Universal City Dubailand, opening in 2010 in Dubai, United Arab Emirates.

Both recently revealed their big themed coaster plans. And they both sound totally awesome. At the Hard Rock Park, riders will be able to hop onto a six-inversion looping coaster called "Led Zepplin — The Ride," which will play "Whole Lotta Love" on the trains, while the new Universal park will roar open with a gargantuan-looking King Kong-themed coaster. What's our travel agent's number again!?

Final Four "Idol" Thoughts

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

We loves us some Barry Gibb. However, we didn't love Barry Gibb night on "American Idol." Maybe it was because of the phoned-in performances or simply because it was the first time contestants sang two songs in one night. Whatever the reason, we were more interested in watching Billy Ray Cyrus getting the boot on "Dancing with the Stars" — he's like the Sanjaya over there, if you're not familiar — than the Final Four's ZZZzzz-worthy performances. At this point in the game, The Slug is extremely conflicted on who to vote for, you know, if we actually voted. Bear with us as we work through our feelings. And let us know who you love at theslug@ap.org.

Melinda Dootlittle. Yes, the girl can sing. Yes, she's consistent. No, we don't want her to win. There's a reason she's been a backup singer for so long. She's safe, dependable and devoid of any kind of diva or rock-star attitude. We don't need to witness her destroying a hotel room, but we'd like to see her at least talk back to Simon Cowell.

LaKisha Jones. When she's on stage and just ripping it up with that big ol' voice of hers, she's amazing. However, she's never seemed comfortable with herself in this crazy competition. Just once, we'd like to see her do something completely nuts. Unlike Doolittle, we think Jones is capable of it. And we like that.

Blake Lewis. Oh, Blakey.  We love you. We hate you.  We're not sure if you should become an "Idol" or you should go back to beatboxing in the back of an electronics store in Washington. You reek of class clown cheesiness, but it's strangely self-aware and comforting. This ain't a personality contest though, it's "Idol." Whatever that means.

Jordin Sparks. When we're watching "Idol" and Sparks comes on screen, we usually have one of two reactions: "Can't believe she's only 17 years old!" or "Can't believe she's so much taller than Ryan Seacrest!" Of all the contestants, Sparks is probably the most readymade pop star. She has a long life — to be manufactured — ahead of her.

Blake Lewis is Last Man Standing on "Idol"

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

Well, we were sorta right. The "American Idol" final four is down to three divas with big voices (if you remember, we originally predicted four) and one short beatboxing dude who seems to have slowly won America's heart -- or at least young American girls' hearts — thanks to turning eeevil. Our Spidey sense is telling us that Blake Lewis will probably win even more votes next week after proudly displaying that B.F.F. luv with Chris Richardsonlake before his dismissal last night. First, though, he'll have to stop Sandman and Venom.

"American Idol" Gives Us an Ulcer

(AP Photo/HO/Fox/Frank Micelotta)

Can we get the two hours we spent watching last night's "Idol Gives Back" special back? Hey, The Slug loves us a good cause, but the bizarre green-screen celebrity appearances, Celine Dion's duet with a computer-generated Elvis Presley and Ryan Seacrest repeatedly promising the "most shocking" voting results in "American Idol" history and then not giving anyone the boot was just bad TV. (Of course Jack Black and Seal delivered, but that was just a five-minute cameo!) Are we crazy scrooges for hating this Very Special Episode? Nope. Two of our favoritest TV blogs — reality blurred and TVgasm — also agree. So, seriously, can we at least get our one hour and 55 minutes back?

Bono Just Misses Sanjaya

(AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

Jeez. Idol Gives Back, the benefit concert being produced by those "American Idol" folks this week, is quickly becoming the LiveAid of our generation or, well, the generation after ours since Woodstock '99 was supposed to be the LiveAid of our generation. Fox just announced Bono will meet with the six remaining finalists on the April 25 results show to discuss his One campaign and then the contestants will perform his song "American Prayer."

Other celebrity participants include Celine Dion; Kelly Clarkson; Gwen Stefani; Earth, Wind & Fire; Il Divo; Keira Knightley; Hugh Grant; Josh Groban; Jack Black; Rascal Flatts; Quincy Jones; Carrie Underwood; Annie Lennox and — yes, that's right, "The Queen" herself — Helen Mirren. Our fingers are crossed so hard that they'll all perform "We Are the World" together.

Hiking with Timbaland

(AP Photo/Danny Moloshok)

This weekend, The Slug went hiking — yes, like, hiking outdoors — and we were able to catch up on the latest new music releases while traveling to the mountain or hill or whatever that thing was that we transversed. Our favoritest that we took along for the hike was Timbaland's "Shock Value." (That's Timbaland the producer-turned-MC, not the footwear.)  It wasn't really shocking, but we liked it, anyway.

For years, the groovemaker has been the wizard behind a curtain of acts such as Aaliyah, Missy Elliott, Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake. Now he's going it alone. Well, not really. There's so many amazing guest appearances and lyrical shenanigans that "Shock Vaule" is a like a hip-hop "Hee Haw." We're not quite sure if Timbaland deserves leading man status, but he can ride with us to the peak anytime.

The Rhythm Got the Final 8 on "Idol"

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

Wow. J.Lo was a really great coach on "American Idol" last night. Unlike Gwen Stefani and Tony Bennett, the  diva wasn't shy about telling the Final 8 what to do during Latin Night. The Slug quite liked Jordin Sparks' "The Rhythm is Gonna Get You" performance. We're guessing Phil Stacey still has one more hat to wear while Haley Scarnato's shorty short desperate attempt will be her last. Meanwhile, Sanjaya Malakar, of course, will  live to make googly eyes with the camera another day.

Blake Lewis Lures Us In on "Idol"

(AP Photo/HO/Fox)

Well, Blake Lewis. Well. Well. Well. Just when we thought this thang was gonna be a diva battle royale, you go and sing a Cure song — on "American Idol" of all places! Not only that, but you didn't butcher it, you left your insipid beat boxing on the cutting room floor and you were the best dressed. (Ugh. Why didn't Gwen Stefani give out fashion advice instead of singing advice!?)

Maybe this season won't end with the Lakisha Jones vs. Melinda Doolittle finale like everyone suspects. Maybe Paula Abdul is right. (No, we can't believe we just typed that sentence either.) Maybe Blake has a real chance at this. Maybe this is the year that personality trumps singing ability. Or maybe Blake just heard what we thought about blonde dudes on reality TV shows.

Boys Will Be Bad on "American Idol"

(AP Photo/HO/Idol)

We did it. We watched every minute of "American Idol" last night. OK, OK. So we skipped over some of Seacrest's TelePrompTer renditions, but we did catch every singing performance. And we have to say, even though The Slug has always been against the way "Idol" inaugurally segregates contestants by sex, this season's men are HORRIBLE vocalists. Horrible! The dudes (and two of the ladies) should just pack up their hair gel and sound editing programs because this sucker looks like it's going to be a four-way battle for divadom between Melinda Doolittle, Stephanie Edwards, Jordin Sparks and Lakisha Jones.

Too Much to Handle

(AP Photo/HO/Marvel)

Is there a rip in the space-time continuum? What else could explain all the crazy hot messes that are happening in entertainment news today!? First, The Slug learned that Captain America has been shot and killed. Captain America! Dead! Then, after we wiped away the tears, we saw that Star Jones Reynolds has landed her own talk show. Oh, no she didn't! And then we learned Jason Wahler from "Laguna Beach" has been sentenced to two months in jail. "Slug, just breathe. You'll be OK," we told ourselves. But we won't because we just read this headline: "Producer Timbaland wants to save Britney." Sigh. The Slug needs a personal day!

Another Day, Another Pussycat Doll

(AP Photo/HO/The CW)

Reality television has been helping fill musical voids for years. INXS. TLC. Supernova. Well, those are the only ones we can think of. Now, the Pussycat Dolls are turning to reality TV to find a new member with The CW's  “Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for The Next Doll,” premiering March 6. Pussycat Dolls Present? What? Are they like CNN now? Nine finalists will sing, dance and otherwise contort themselves (see above) in order to become the next Doll. Hope they like slots!

Let's Go Crazier

(AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian)

We got back from Vegas just in time to watch the drippy Super Bowl halftime show starring Prince. Usually, The Slug thinks these halftime shows are total trainwrecks, but Prince's outing was quite entertaining if subdued. (Prince's backup dancers, the Twinz, totally brought it.) We were shocked there weren't more technical glitches considering the rainy weather. Deep down inside, we were hoping friends o' Prince such as Chaka Kahn, Cee-Lo, The Roots or Sheila E. would have popped up out of The Artist's stage — but no — it was just the Prince show.

Don't Cha Wish Your Casino Was Hot Like This?

(AP Photo/Derrik J. Lang)

Here's a sneak peek at the new Pussycat Dolls Casino that opens this week. It's not really a casino but a separate sexy gaming area inside Caesars Palace across from the Pure nightclub and Pussycat Dolls Lounge. (Those gals sure do get around.) As you can see, the "casino" features a huge PCD neon sign, leopard-laden poker tables and slot machines featuring lip print icons. Of course, the most out-there elements are the two dancing cages at the center of the themed gaming area and the fishnet-clad table legs. You can see a photo of that "Hot Stuff" after the jump.

Viva Gwen Stefani

(AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

Forget Frank. Enough Elvis. Sorry, Celine. We think Gwen Stefani must be the new official artist of Las Vegas. We cannot escape the L.A.M.B herder. Since we've been here, The Slug caught the former No Doubt singer pumping from the speakers at the Bellagio fountains, during that shoe fashion show we attended earlier, inside three different casinos (Venetian, Luxor, Casino Royale), at a daiquiri bar on The Strip and all over the floor of the World Shoe Show. If we hear "Wind it Up" one more time, we're going to jump off the Eiffel Tower, you know, the fake one. 

What Happens in Vegas Won't Stay in Vegas

(AP Photo/HO/NBC)

The Slug is going to Las Vegas! Tomorrow, we'll be hopping on a plane bound for Sin City. Don't worry. Once we arrive, we'll be blogging live from The Strip about all the pop cultural golden nuggets we come across during the trip. (For example, The Slug will be attending the World Shoe Show and sneaking a peek at the new Pussycat Dolls Casino. Start loosening up your buttons now). Got any suggestions on other stuff we should see or do in Vegas? Send 'em to theslug@ap.org. Before we head out west, we're attending Microsoft's sure-to-be-over-the-top Windows Vista launch event today in Times Square. Come back later for our take on all the hubbub.

Just Give "The Queen" Everything

(AP Photo/HO/Miramax Films/20th Century Fox)

Oh. Yeah. The Academy Award nominations were announced this morning. Two surprises: Despite receiving the most nods, "Dreamgirls" wasn't nominated for Best Picture. (Not that it should've been. We're just sayin'.) And "Click" — yes, "Click" starring Adam Sandler and David Hasselhoff — was nominated for an Oscar (for makeup). An Oscar! For some sick reason, we're really hoping to hear a celebrity say "and the Oscar goes to 'Click'" during the ceremony on Feb. 25. The entire list of nominees, after the jump.

We're All On Ice Together

(AP Photo/HO/Disney)

"High School Musical" was a made-for-TV movie ratings smash then a top downloaded album and now a high-grossing concert tour. Later this year, it's gonna be 32 degrees. While The Slug was having lunch with Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus' Bello the clown and ringmaster Tyron McFarlan today, Nicole Feld, producer for live production company Feld Entertainment, told us she was currently hard at work on "High School Musical on Ice." Yes. On ice.

The slick adaptation of the tween megahit (don't act like you've never heard of it) won't feature the original actors — they're not that good at skating, Feld said — but will include tunes from the original and the highly anticipated (if you're 12 years old like us) sequel set to debut on the Disney Channel in August. What's next? "High School Musical in Space"!? Actually, that would be awesome.

In Search of a Singing "Shrek"

(AP Photo/Reed Saxon)

Every now and again, The Slug is privy to casting information for upcoming productions. Usually, we don't pay it any mind. But we thought this one was fairly interesting. It's for "Shrek: The Musical" — and you could audition (if you're in New York). Yes, you! Producers are looking for rock singers and hip-hop performers to help turn the computer-generated fairytale into a stage production. Just be sure to exit the audition on the door to the right. Details after the jump.

How Does iCellular Phone Sound?

  (AP Photo/HO/Infogear)

The iPhone is here! The iPhone is here! Sound the alarm! Release the dogs! Everyone can leave school and work early today! Use exclamation points! In case you hadn't heard, Apple unveiled its 4- and 8-gigabyte portable just-about-everything device, making the iPod, Zune, Treo and Blackberry obsolete in one fell swoop come June. Ah, technology!

The Slug is still confused about that name. First, it's not just a phone. It can run Mac OS X. Second, the iPhone already exists. A quick look at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office's site shows that there are nine instances of "iPhone" as a registered trademark. Plugging "iPhone" into the Associated Press photo archive turned up the above. Best (or worst?) of all, you can already get an iPhone (black or white) on Amazon. Impress your friends!

A Reason Not to Skip Commercials

(AP Photo/Nick Ut)

Hey you. We're gonna start working on another asap podcast, but we need a little help from our friends. (That'd be you.) Can you think of commercials that feature older songs, such as Circuit City's ad with The Cars' "Just What I Needed" and Slim Fast Optima's spot starring Chairman of the Board's "Give Me Just a Little More Time"? Send your best ones to theslug@ap.org. We'll owe you one.