Brought to you by asap and The Associated Press, The Slug tastes pop culture for you — just in case it's been poisoned. E-mail us at [email protected].

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

It's Been Nice Knowing You

(AP Photo/HO/Disney/Gene Duncan)

In the year since launching The Slug, some unimaginable stuff occurred within the realm of popular culture. Anna Nicole Smith died. "Survivor: Cook Islands" divided their tribes by race. Bob Barker retired. And we blogged about it all. We hope we kept our original promise to "simultaneously investigate and celebrate all thangs pop culture." Even if you don't think we did, well, we've totally had a blast trying to, anyway. Remember folks: Help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered.

"Dancing with the" Most Shocking Elimination

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Wow. The Slug didn't see that coming. On one hand, we're TOTALLY SHOCKED about Sabrina Ryan's dismissal on "Dancing with the Stars." Obviously, she was consistently the best "celebrity" dancer on the show. On the other hand, enough seasons of "American Idol" have made us jaded enough to know that these talent competitions are merely popularity contests, which is ultimately a shame. We're thinking it's probably time for Cameron Mathison to pull out at that thong. Otherwise, he's a goner.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

"Dancing with the Stars" Goes Off-Beat

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Wow. The "Dancing with the Stars" judges were really nice considering the ballroom was littered with missteps (and farts, apparently) last night. Despite some highly entertaining routines, The Slug spotted boo-boos from Sabrina Ryan, Cameron Mathison, Jennie Garth and Marie Osmond. What are they gonna do when they have to learn two dances in one week!? Hmmm. We suspect Jane Seymour and Helio Castroneves will be in the bottom two tonight — with "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" being dismissed.

Loose Ends

(AP Photo)

Look out! asap's endingstravaganza has begun! The Associated Press' premium multimedia news service is nearing its final hour with content all about conclusions. Online now, you can find a list of great literary outcomes, a story about the death of indie rock, an essay discussing the end of a meal and videos about the finales of wars and movies. Stay tuned. Later today, The Slug will reveal our favoritest TV finales.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

J.Lo Explodes On "Dancing with the Stars"

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Explosions. Glitter. Backup dancers. Big hair. Strobe lights. And lots of dangling fabric. There was so much stuff happening during Jennifer Lopez's performance on "Dancing with the Stars: The Results" last night, it's as if the "international superstar" was trying to hide something! Oh, and it's too bad about Mark Cuban getting voted off. We kinda liked the big lunk, but the judges were right. He really wasn't improving, despite his best efforts. Unlike previous seasons, we really have no clue who the Final Two will be this time.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Drew Carey Needs "Price is Right" Improvement

(AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian)

The Slug made no bones about how we felt about Drew Carey becoming host of "The Price is Right." We weren't pleased with that decision. So we gave him some time to settle into his new daytime gig before passing judgment. However, he's been at it for over a week now, and we can remain silent no longer. Yesterday's episode sent us over the edge. Although Carey is a little better than we originally expected — granted, those expectations were really, really low — The Slug can't tolerate these three things:

1. Carey has developed a nervous twitch where he'll fumble with his coat pocket on camera. Maybe he's just checking to make sure $500 is in there, in case a contestant's bid is exactly right. Whatever the reason, it drives us nuts. Keep your hands out of your pocket!

2. Before playing Barker's Bargain Bar (thankfully they didn't change the game's name) Carey has a running joke that the game is named after Ezekiel Barker, the "founder" of "Price is Right." That's not funny — or respectful to the dude who the game is actually named after.

3. Carey keeps flubbing Bob's "help control the pet population" spiel at the end of the show. Even when he gets it right, his delivery sounds completely forced. If he doesn't truly care if the audience spays and neuters their pets, he shouldn't say it.

Fainting "with the Stars"

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

As Marie Osmond was twirling around the "Dancing with the Stars" ballroom during last night's spicy Latin Night, The Slug thought to ourselves, "You know what? We didn't think we'd like her. We even had the audacity to call her an old geezer at one point. But she's become one of the most entertaining celebrities to watch this season."

Then, as she was being critiqued by the judges, Osmond fainted. She's fine. The question is: Will the producers choose to show Osmond falling to the floor repeatedly and in slow motion on tonight's results show, like they did with Jennie Garth's quickstep tumble a few weeks ago? Probably. "Dancing with the Stars" has a way of hiking up the drama higher than Edyta Sliwinska's skirt.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Halloween Costumes Ideas

(AP Photos)

The Slug's favoritest holiday is just around the corner. That means it's time to dress up like a celebrity train wreck and hope everyone else in the room gets it. The Slug suspects lots of folks will be Anna Nicole Smith and Paris Hilton, so we're opting for other topical pop-culture icons. This year, we're keeping it simple (and cheap!), so all our ideas consist of just three elements. Let us know which of these five characters you think would garner us more tricks than treats.

  • Bee Hive Wig + Black Tooth Makeup + Illegal Substances = Amy Winehouse
  • Computer Chip Contacts + Cleavage + Sagging Ratings = "Bionic Woman"
  • Bad Weave + Glittery Bra and Panties + No Facial Expression = Britney Spears
  • Wallet Chain + Suicidal Tendencies Shirt + Farting = "Evel" Dick Donato
  • Ponyhawk Wig + Microphone + No Talent = Sanjaya Malakar

Friday, October 19, 2007

Favoritest Photo of the Week: Run for the Border

(AP Photo/Matt Sayles)

Question: Why are Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from "The Hills" posing in formal wear at a Taco Bell? Answer: Uhhhh. Something to do with raising awareness for World Hunger Relief Week? Yes, we're being serious — and that's why were making this bizarre image our Favoritest Photo of the Week. This photo begs the question: Were Heidi and Spencer the only TV personalities available? Jeez. They could've at least brought that talking chihuahua out of retirement.

TV personalities Heidi Montag, left, and Spencer Pratt pose for photographers inside a Taco Bell in the Hollywood section of Los Angeles to raise awareness and funds for World Hunger Relief Week on Tuesday, Oct. 16, 2007. (AP Photo/Matt Sayles)

"Star Trek" Shows Its Bones

(AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian)

The Enterprise is ready to engage. With the official announcement that Chris Pine will indeed play Kirk and that Karl Urban from "The Lord of the Rings" films has been cast as Dr. "Bones" McCoy, that means all the roles of the starship's senior officers have been filled. Honestly, we don't have a problem with any of director J.J. Abrams' hot young not-too-too-famous choices. We can't wait to see them in uniform— and find out what this big-screen reboot's secret plot is all about.