The Slug

"Dancing with the" Most Shocking Elimination

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Wow. The Slug didn't see that coming. On one hand, we're TOTALLY SHOCKED about Sabrina Ryan's dismissal on "Dancing with the Stars." Obviously, she was consistently the best "celebrity" dancer on the show. On the other hand, enough seasons of "American Idol" have made us jaded enough to know that these talent competitions are merely popularity contests, which is ultimately a shame. We're thinking it's probably time for Cameron Mathison to pull out at that thong. Otherwise, he's a goner.

"Dancing with the Stars" Goes Off-Beat

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Wow. The "Dancing with the Stars" judges were really nice considering the ballroom was littered with missteps (and farts, apparently) last night. Despite some highly entertaining routines, The Slug spotted boo-boos from Sabrina Ryan, Cameron Mathison, Jennie Garth and Marie Osmond. What are they gonna do when they have to learn two dances in one week!? Hmmm. We suspect Jane Seymour and Helio Castroneves will be in the bottom two tonight — with "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" being dismissed.

"The Amazing Race" is Still Redonkulously Fun

(AP Photo/HO/CBS)

"The Amazing Race" is still, well, amazing. Spoiler alert! The Slug just finished watching a screener for the 12th season premiere, which follows the 11 teams from Los Angeles to Ireland. This year's race begins at the Playboy Mansion. Naturally, our favoritest team is Kynt and Vyxsin, a goth couple from Kentucky. Yes, they're slightly bizarre — but they're also lovable and totally underestimated by their competitors.

Of course, it wouldn't be "The Amazing Race" without a bickering couple. This year there are two: Jennifer and Nathan and Lorena and Jason. The best moment of the first episode is a challenge where the contestants must lead donkeys along the Irish countryside. One of the more annoying teams mercilessly suffers with an extremely stubborn ass. We promise you'll be braying with delight at their misfortune.

J.Lo Explodes On "Dancing with the Stars"

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Explosions. Glitter. Backup dancers. Big hair. Strobe lights. And lots of dangling fabric. There was so much stuff happening during Jennifer Lopez's performance on "Dancing with the Stars: The Results" last night, it's as if the "international superstar" was trying to hide something! Oh, and it's too bad about Mark Cuban getting voted off. We kinda liked the big lunk, but the judges were right. He really wasn't improving, despite his best efforts. Unlike previous seasons, we really have no clue who the Final Two will be this time.

Fainting "with the Stars"

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

As Marie Osmond was twirling around the "Dancing with the Stars" ballroom during last night's spicy Latin Night, The Slug thought to ourselves, "You know what? We didn't think we'd like her. We even had the audacity to call her an old geezer at one point. But she's become one of the most entertaining celebrities to watch this season."

Then, as she was being critiqued by the judges, Osmond fainted. She's fine. The question is: Will the producers choose to show Osmond falling to the floor repeatedly and in slow motion on tonight's results show, like they did with Jennie Garth's quickstep tumble a few weeks ago? Probably. "Dancing with the Stars" has a way of hiking up the drama higher than Edyta Sliwinska's skirt.

Halloween Costumes Ideas

(AP Photos)

The Slug's favoritest holiday is just around the corner. That means it's time to dress up like a celebrity train wreck and hope everyone else in the room gets it. The Slug suspects lots of folks will be Anna Nicole Smith and Paris Hilton, so we're opting for other topical pop-culture icons. This year, we're keeping it simple (and cheap!), so all our ideas consist of just three elements. Let us know which of these five characters you think would garner us more tricks than treats.

• Bee Hive Wig + Black Tooth Makeup + Illegal Substances = Amy Winehouse
• Computer Chip Contacts + Cleavage + Sagging Ratings = "Bionic Woman"
• Bad Weave + Glittery Bra and Panties + No Facial Expression = Britney Spears
• Wallet Chain + Suicidal Tendencies Shirt + Farting = "Evel" Dick Donato
• Ponyhawk Wig + Microphone + No Talent = Sanjaya Malakar

Favoritest Photo of the Week: Run for the Border

(AP Photo/Matt Sayles)

Question: Why are Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from "The Hills" posing in formal wear at a Taco Bell? Answer: Uhhhh. Something to do with raising awareness for World Hunger Relief Week? Yes, we're being serious — and that's why were making this bizarre image our Favoritest Photo of the Week. This photo begs the question: Were Heidi and Spencer the only TV personalities available? Jeez. They could've at least brought that talking chihuahua out of retirement.

TV personalities Heidi Montag, left, and Spencer Pratt pose for photographers inside a Taco Bell in the Hollywood section of Los Angeles to raise awareness and funds for World Hunger Relief Week on Tuesday, Oct. 16, 2007. (AP Photo/Matt Sayles)

"Survivor: China" Head Games

(AP Photo/HO/CBS)

Is sneaky editing to blame? Or are the "Survivor: China" castaways who've been privy to the Hidden Immunity Idol clues — Jamie, Todd and booted Leslie — just big dumb-dumbs for not realizing the Hidden Immunity Idol is that plaque hanging above their heads? It looked like smarty-pants Todd was staring right at it during last night's episode, but we never saw the flight attendant go up in the air for it.

Bravo's Guiltiest Pleasures are Coming Back

(AP Photo/HO/Bravo)

Forget "Top Design" and "Work Out." Bravo is finally giving us more of what we want: "The Real Housewives of Orange County" and "Project Runway." The Slug sucked up the first episodes of their upcoming new seasons, premiering Nov. 6 and Nov. 14, respectively. While the first "Runway" challenge is sorta boring — express yourself as a designer with a bunch of fabric donated by Mood —  this season's contestants are not. We'll be keeping our eyes on fierce Carmen Webber, full-of-himself Christian Siriano and fiery Rami Kashou (pictured above, left). Their debut garments worked best for us.

Over in "Orange County," new bobbleheaded cast member Tamra Barney (pictured above, right) has moved in. She just turned 40 and has a 21-year-old son. You do the math. Meanwhile, the returning "housewives" are dealing with new domestic distresses. Tammy Knickerbocker is coping with the death of her ex-husband. Jeana Keough seems headed for divorce with her current husband. And Lauri Waring is planning a wedding to a new husband. These ladies may not be as vivacious as "The Hills" girls, but their "Orange County" drama certainly feels more real.

Viva Wayne Netwon's "Dancing" Dismissal

(AP Photo/HO/ABC)

Not even a phony ponytail or 'stache could help the stiff Wayne Newton, who was sent back to Las Vegas on last night's "Dancing with the Stars." Unfortch, we think ol' Wayne was just too, well, old to compete against the likes of Sabrina Ryan and Cameron Mathison. In more distressing news, we learned that mumbly co-host Samantha Harris will return from maternity leave next week. Please! No! That has to be the shortest maternity leave ever.